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This winter, when you have absolutely nothing to do and you’re recovering from a disease and you can’t find the remote and you have a free rental, check out All About Steve and you’ll see a prime example of a movie that’s totally schizoid.
About the film
Plenty of times, studios realize that the film they’ve poured millions of dollars into is a colossal dud. That’s why movies get “shelved” – put away until they can either be dumped or sent straight to DVD. (In the old days [B.V., before video], the stinkers were paired with other baddies and double billed so the studios could at least recover something. Then cable was born and a slew of them showed on Showtime at 2:40 a.m.) Sometimes, though, a movie has a big name attached – Sandra Bullock in this case. A likeable, bankable actor, she has a built-in fan base.
That, plus the fact that her previous movie, The Proposal, was a substantial summer hit ($160.2 million) and that co-star Bradley Cooper is hot after the surprising success of The Hangover (Movie Man No. 828, a 6) inspired Fox to pull the almost two-years old All About Steve off the shelf. Another warning flag: The movie wasn’t screened in advance. The Movie Man avoids advanced showings like the plague, but it’s almost always a negative sign. To get back to the preface here, the real reason to suffer through All About Steve (if you dare) is to see a totally unfocused movie. This picture is all over the place, clearly having no idea if it’s a romantic comedy or some kind of reverse social statement on stalking or if it’s a flat-out physical comedy. What it really is is a mess of an effort, one where an inexperienced director, Phil Traill (who has made just TV shows [mostly] prior, but [somehow] is a lauded short filmmaker in England) simply is incapable of molding his thousands of feet of film into any kind of decent picture. Bullock said she was initially interested in the role because it was a man’s part written for a woman. But even she can’t save this mess. The plot Eccentric crossword puzzle maker Mary (Bullock) is a walking encyclopedia – but she’s also a ditz who lives with her parents and is a social misfit. Miraculously, a blind date ends up being a hot guy, Steve (Cooper), and she throws herself at him. That freaks out Cooper, a TV news cameraman, who gets rid of her fast. But the goofy Bullock takes a casual Cooper statement to heart and believes he’s her true love. She begins to pursue him as he and newsman Hartman (Thomas Hayden Church) travel America chasing stories. Eventually, Bullock falls into a hole (!) where she becomes a media darling. Cooper finally sees she’s really a nice girl, just weird, and she realizes that maybe stalking men is wrong. What works Jabbering Bullock has a few moments where you see that All About Steve contains a germ of a good idea for a movie. She’s fine with off-hand lines. This movie boasts a great supporting cast in Keith David, D.J. Qualls, and Howard Hesseman and they get a rare good line or scene. A Ken Jeong sequence – he’s the TV mobile producer – is pretty funny. Best scene In Colorado, a group of deaf children is gaily running through a verdant meadow toward a distant carnival when the entire group suddenly falls into a hidden abandoned mine. Now, whether you find that funny or not (the Movie Man did), it’s really the direction All About Steve should’ve gone. What doesn’t work In romantic comedies, you’re supposed to like the main characters. Bullock is not a lovable eccentric but an irritating nut job. There’s no reason for Cooper to ever have any interest in her and the climax where she realizes that couldn’t be flatter. This movie wanders around like a lost puppy. It’s never very funny and it’s not witty or dark. It’s just everywhere and nowhere at the same time and really a letdown. A firm director or substantial rewrite was needed and All About Steve got neither. Scenes are herky-jerky and nearly unwatchable. The rating Mostly, All About Steve is a middle-of-the-road PG-13. One scene, the blind date – speaking of uncontrolled filmmaking – tries for some sensual slapstick but is simply vulgar and unfunny. First, Bullock races upstairs after initially seeing Cooper and changes into a very unflattering WonderBra. Then the attempted tryst goes awry in one of the most uncomfortable – and, more importantly, unfunny – scenes in recent cinematic history. Summing up Movie Man took Movie Wife to what he hoped was a decent rom-com, but even she agreed that All About Steve was pretty cruddy. Bullock will lay an occasional egg; this movie is right up (or right down) there with the dreadful Miss Congeniality 2: Armed & Fabulous (2005, MM #605, 3 [and Worst Movie of the Year]). Thanks to last week’s The Final Destination (MM #840, 2), All About Steve won’t be the Worst Movie of the Year – but, boy, it’s a lock for the Dishonorable Mention list. Trailers Another Jennifer Aniston rom-com looms, Love Happens (preview: 6). The Movie Man has a soft spot for her, but this one looks like another cookie-cutter, lovelorn special. Bless her heart. Next up It’s two horror movies vs. sci-fi and the Movie Man is headed to the latter, 9. That means he’ll be passing on Whiteout and Sorority Row. Speaking of sci-fi, last week the Movie Man harped on how it’s been such a strong year for the genre with a few more decent-looking movies still in the ‘09 pipeline. He didn’t mention the barely advertised animated movie Astro Boy with an all-star cast of voices like Nicolas Cage, Samuel L. Jackson, and Charlize Theron. |
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