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Q: Jill, what do you attribute your long marriage to? From, Bride
A: Stamina. The wonderful man my husband is didn’t just come that way, you know. If you add kids, then you’ve really got something to cut your teeth on. Wedding vows promise staying together through good and bad times and having money or being broke because you will experience all those things. You’re being warned so you can brace yourself.
Q: Jill, how can I be a fabulous cook like you? From, Fast-foodie A: Practice, and lots of it. I have cooked about 8,700 meals since I married. And cooking saves money: 8,700 meals at $20 dining out is $174,000. If you are even a half-decent cook, you will be desired and revered. You could save enough money by cooking to pay off a house. And what you’d save in tips could furnish it. Q: Jill, I can’t save money; any suggestions? I admire you so. From, Admirer
A: Of course you do. Just remember: people are trying to get your money, and you want to try to keep your money. The voice telling you to spend all you have is just jive-talkin’, and you don’t want to be down with that. It may sound convoluted, but if you save $100 instead of spending it, this is not punishment. That we are brainwashed to work our tails off to willingly spend our hard-earned money on things everyone else tells us we need is called irony. Q: Jill, how can I get rid of squirrels in my yard? From, Going Nuts A: You can’t. They’re smarter than us and also diabolical. Our dog once had a death-grip on a squirrel, and our son ran to save it. When he grabbed it from the dog’s mouth, the squirrel bit onto his finger, and the only way he could get it off was to repeatedly sling it back and forth with such force he finally flung it over the fence. I had to take our son to the emergency room for treatment and a tetanus shot, and they sent us home with an elderly man’s heart medicine that I had to go back and exchange. That was our thanks for saving the squirrel, which is also called irony. Q: Jill, I get lost travelling between Azle and Aledo. Please help! From, Hell’s Angel A: It’s tricky. Ironically, you take 1187 from Aledo to Azle, but to get back to Aledo you take Church Road. If you don’t take Church Road and continue looking for 1187, there’s no telling where you’ll end up. What I do is get on the road if I can find it, keep driving, and pray that I recognize something when I come out the other end. It took me two hours once to get to Aledo from Azle. Try to take this road on a clear day so the sun can help navigate you. Jill Walczak lives with her husband, two dogs and five cats in Aledo. They own a construction-materials testing and engineering laboratory |
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